On Never Quitting

This issue is about having a goal and never quitting. It's a framework to give you encouragement and motivation to keep going and feel less alone in the pursuit of a challenging but meaningful goal, whatever that may be for you.

Lets Go Fearwards 👇

The moments you think about giving up (and what to do).

Whenever I've set a big goal there have been times when I've wanted to give up, and I've not always found these moments easy to navigate, especially when it applies to some of the 'bigger' things in life. Can you relate?

The voice in your head will come up with all the reasons why you should quit and these reasons will sound very plausible and convincing. They might sound like:

It’s taking too long or taking up too much time

I'm sacrificing too much

It’s too hard

I'm tired, too old or I don’t have the energy for this.

I’m no good at this, I'll never be good enough

And so on....and then you start to entertain the idea: should I just give up?

This would be where, if my life was a film, I would want to be able to press pause!! But we can do the same metaphorically. The downwards spiral of thinking isn't helpful, it limits your view. So how do you get perspective again? Pause and ask a powerful question.

When you find yourself in 'giving up territory', these questions are great for setting you straight again:

• Is this an arbitrary goal or does it mean something deeply important to you? 

• Will achieving this goal enrich your life and potentially the lives of others too?

• Does it still feel like it’s a part of your ‘why’ your reason for being here?  

Things can change in life and your priorities shift.  Sometimes the courageous thing to do IS to change tack or stop what you’re doing so that you pick up what you really want or need instead. 

But, if after hitting pause and reflecting on these questions the answer is a ‘yes’, a knowing that comes from within you, and this goal is something that your mind is going to keep coming back to, then the choice is already made. It's now a matter of going for it. 

As I was mulling over this topic in preparation for this issue I was sent a very timely short video made by Casey Neistat called “Sisyphus and the Impossible Dream”. It's about his 'impossible dream' to run a marathon in less than 3 minutes (I’ll add the link below). Something he said in it summed this point up perfectly: 

”If I back off, if I let reason win then I have to carry the weight of that unrealised goal until the day I die. So those are the stakes”  

Yep. Those ARE the stakes!

Perspective

Have you seen the “choose your hard” memes? They go something like this..

Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, 

Being in debt is hard, being financially disciplined is hard 

Pleasing everyone is hard, pursuing what you want is hard

Suffering is hard, asking for help is hard.

It’s true isn’t it?  We want easy, but paradoxically the easiest thing to do is accept that the things in life that are significant don’t tend to come easy, they aren’t convenient. They become easier when we give ourselves grace, accept we need to work at it, learn the skills, practice and fail and build capacity to do it better.   

It’s confronting to feel wedged between two ‘hards’ (ah the old ‘caught between a rock and a hard place') but it's actually so much easier once you pick your 'hard' and commit, because then you can move from tiring yourself out with all the back and forth thinking (should I quit or not) and into forward momentum. It becomes about taking the steps, moving forward with it, trying your best and working out what it takes to make it happen. The other option isn’t there anymore to distract you or keep you stuck.

Organisation & Mindset

Have you ever noticed that it's easy to doubt and second guess your decisions when you have uncertainty? So the next part of 'getting back on track' is to start laying one that heads in the direction you want to go.  You don’t even need to lay it all in one go and it’s probably best not to as things change and sometimes you don't know the next step until you've taken some.

Great questions are: what's a good first step from here, what is the next? Do those and start the adventure.  

Mindset-wise there's 4 principles that really help:

🧠 You have permission to do this and you can.

🧠 Focus on your 'why' and what it means to you to achieve your goal coupled with excitement and curiosity about what’s to come. That way it feels less like a burden to carry and more like a fun experiment.

🧠 A willingness to ‘eff’ it up along the way - not quitting means being OK with failure. As Casey Neistat would say: “Failure is a muscle and every time you use it you get a little stronger”

🧠 Stay in your own lane, excellently summed up by one of my all-time favourite quotes: “She silently stepped out of the race she never wanted to be in, found her own lane and proceeded to win”.

Prep and Pep

What supports and inspires you?  What energises you to get into action, to galvanise, to get up and go again and keep getting up?

For me there are some fundamental things that make a difference:

• Sleep

• Exercise

• Breathwork

• Eating well

• Daily walks

If these things aren't in a good place I know my thoughts and feelings might not be too. What are your 'fundamentals'?

For keeping on track and staying in my lane it's:

• Reminding myself of the vision, the direction I’m heading in - the long term goal and what the action I take today will contribute to.

• Reminding myself of my strengths and which ones will help me today so I can infuse what I’m doing with 'best me'.

• Listening to one of my hypnosis audios to build belief in what I'm doing.

I also love having questions and phrases around me to keep me focussed and motivated. Here's a few I like:

• What will I do today to make life easier for future me?

• What will I do today to move towards my vision?

• What am I learning & how am I growing from this? 

• I can do this, I will do this, I am doing this.

• As I move towards what I want, what I want is moving towards me.

• Every day I'm learning, growing, becoming stronger and getting better.

Save this somewhere for whenever you need support to stay the course, especially when it gets hard! Let me know what goals you have and any 'go tos' you have that bring you perspective or help you keep going, I'd love to hear them.

And here's the link to the Impossible Dream video

Em x